Pressure to Eat

Take the pressure out of feeding.

 

What is pressure to eat?

Pressure to eat is when parents interfere with toddlers eating after food is served by trying to get them to eat more or to get them to eat certain foods on their plate. Pressure can be very subtle. It may be just a gentle prompt, you might not even realise you are doing it.

Our PICNIC parents say not pressuring their children to eat was the feeding practice they most needed to change. Some parents found it really hard to stop pressuring initially, especially if their children were a bit older. But they were really glad when they stopped the pressure.

Pressure to eat will result in battles at the table, teaching toddlers to overeat and making them less likely to eat the pressured food later in life. 

Why do we pressure our toddlers to eat?

We want our toddlers to eat well. Our health, wellbeing and even survival depends on it. This has driven parents to feed children as much and as often possible. It’s not too long ago (two generations) the food supply was very different and there wasn’t the availability of food that we have today. 

Pressure to eat is the result of historic worry when food wasn’t as freely available as it is now. You may find the feeding advice provided by our families who lived through those times, is about making sure they get food in and finishing their meal, which is likely to include pressuring toddlers to eat. 

We can pressure children to eat because we want them to be healthy. When toddlers don’t eat more challenging foods like meat and vegetables or eat small amounts, we can feel they aren’t eating well, or they aren’t eating enough. This can add stress for parents. Parents report child feeding as one of the most stressful parts of parenting.

Their eating will be up and down and unpredictable, but toddlers will get the amounts and types of food they need, if they are given regular access to meals. You may look at your toddlers eating at one meal, or even one day, and make a judgement on that. This will look very different if we can step back and look at eating over a longer period. It will all even out over time.

Feeding toddlers can be frustrating as foods eaten before are now foods they reject.

What pressure to eat looks like…

Pressure can be something you say (when they start understanding you more) or something you physically do. It can even be just your body language or facial expressions.  Pressure to eat comes in many forms, begging, instructions, bargaining, bribing or physically putting food into a toddler’s mouth. It can even be celebrating or congratulating children on eating something.

“Eat your vegetables and you can have some ice cream” You’ve heard this one! But there are others…

A child shouldn’t feel like you are either happy or sad when they’ve eaten or not. Our toddlers are likely to think this is pressure. They’ll be eating for you and forgetting about how they are feeling.

Some examples of pressuring children to eat… 

These are all examples of trying to control our toddlers eating. The role of eating is our toddler’s job only

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What happens when we pressure toddlers to eat?

Mealtime Battles 
You are pressuring them to do something they don’t want to do. It’s going to stress everyone out and likely to result in a food ‘tug of war’. Can you imagine if someone was trying to control your eating?

When pressure is taken out at mealtimes, it will be a happier, more relaxed environment. Once toddlers get stressed, they can lose their appetite and won’t feel as safe to try new foods.

New foods can be a bit scary for toddlers, they need to feel safe and comfortable before they will eat them. If there is a battle and everyone’s upset, it’s best to abandon the meal and try again next time without pressure.

Learn to dislike pressured food.
If we pressure toddlers to eat certain food, they can associate eating that food with stress and can be less likely to eat it long term. This is when we need to weigh up the cost of a couple of mouthfuls short term against not liking the food through life.

If you pressure, you’ll get a bit more eaten now, but long term they’ll learn to dislike the pressured foods and eat less as they grow older. Play the long game. Leave the pressure out.

Learning to eat more than they need.
We’re born knowing how much food to eat. When we pressure children to eat, they are likely to be eating because of the pressure and not because of how they are feeling. This makes them lose the ability to know when they are full. They will become used to eating without hunger which can lead to lifelong battles with food, dieting and weight management.

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Things that’ll help you take the pressure out

• Don’t compare your child’s eating with any other toddlers. We are all on our own journey.
• Don’t worry too much about a day or a meal. If you think about their eating over a much longer period, you’ll find it all evens out. 
• Rejecting new and more challenging foods is normal at this age, they are just getting to know foods slowly and making sure they are safe.
• Our toddlers know how much to eat… much more than us… they’ve got their tummy to tell them!
• The Guide to Healthy Eating is only a guide to help you choose foods to serve up. If you keep doing this over time, they will get what they need.
• When you’ve taken the pressure out sit back and notice how much you are enjoying mealtimes. 
• Remember we are learning and no one is perfect. If you’ve been using pressure at meals don’t be too hard on yourself.
• Think of it as less work. You do less and its better for your toddler. You can’t argue with that!

When to get extra help

There are times when something else is going on, resulting in baby not eating, particularly if your child is not gaining weight or is losing weight. If you’re concerned with your child’s intake, go to the feeding problems webpage, or seek some help from a health professional.

 

References